


Where Did It Go Wrong?

by bribri223



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Amnesia, Anxiety, Confusion, Denial, Depression, Drunk Dancing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Family Problems, Hipsters, Impulse-Control problems, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mental Abuse, Minor Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reckless Behavior, Recreational Drug Use, Relationship(s), School, Slow Build, Strained Friendships, Struggling for Normalcy, Triggers will be tagged at the beginning of each chapter, car crash, nothing too bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bribri223/pseuds/bribri223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson wakes up from a month long coma after a terrible car crash with no memory of the incident, that is except for the recurring night terrors that continue to plague him. He is placed in the care of friends and attends university, trying to regain the normal life he feels has been taken from him.<br/>With the feeling of everything falling apart, Louis drowns himself in drugs and alcohol just to feel in control of something. Not to mention the pretentious hipster that thinks he knows everything about Louis and his "problem".</p><p>OR the one where Louis feels like he can't control anything in his life and thinks alcohol will fix it, and Harry can see the truth in every lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out of The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii!! This is my first fanfic on AO3, though I've read countless stories here. I was hit with this idea a few months ago and had it written, but only now did I decide to actually post it. So hopefully you'll like it, and please feel free to share your thoughts and criticisms! Any and all triggers will be tagged in the authors notes at the beginning of each chapter. If there is any problem with not tagging or not mentioning triggers included in the chapter, please tell me. It may seem slow at first, but it's to get a feel for the mood and the characters mindsets. Enjoy!!!

It was simultaneously the most beautiful and the most hideous moment of Louis Tomlinson's life. The rain beating down on his dirty windshield did nothing to distract him from the oncoming car drifting into his lane.

The speed and proximity didn't allow for any action on his part so he was able to watch, in almost slow motion, the crash sure to come. The sleeping face of the other driver showed exhaustion and sleep-deprivation, and Louis' painted the somewhat blurred lightness he felt.

The taste of mortality rose in Louis' throat like bile and with every separate moment that passed, the shadows inside the other car began morphing into figures not unlike those of his own family. But he was alone and he'd been that way for a while… It was infinitely selfish but he wished for someone to share in those last moments before impact, when death seemed inevitable. He'd always been selfish though. Always.

He's never felt more relieved and simultaneously afraid in all of his short existence. The blare of headlights enveloped Louis' vision and he closed his eyes for possibly the last time, the only thought going through his mind, the only sentiment he had for himself and his life, was a simple "Finally". And then the screeching of twisting steel and metal blocked out everything as his world faded into white noise.

~~~~~~

Beeping.

There is some beeping… racket… filling Louis' ears.

It's a sharp contrast from the soft vibration of white noise he'd last heard, and he wanted to move, to say something to make it stop, but his body didn't respond. He was so tired though, so very tired and the beeping noise was fading away anyway so he let himself be pulled back into the inky blackness of his mind.

The next time Louis was thrust into something resembling consciousness the beeping was still incessant in his ears, but there were other noises to focus on to block it out. A deep rasp spoke solemnly from somewhere nearby, but the effort of trying to open his eyes almost cast him back into darkness so he just listened. 

It wasn't a terribly long time before the voice went quiet and a lighter shrill took over, murmuring in return. Their words were unintelligible, somehow their meanings lost to Louis as he bathed in the pulsations of his heart, somehow keeping in perfect time with the beeping. The white noise faded in, lulling him back down into the shadows.

~~~~~~

It continued like that, though Louis is entirely unsure as to how long. Each time he was able to hold his head above the surface for a bit longer and he felt and heard more. Someone whispering into his ears startled him multiple times, but their words went in one ear and bounced around his head, indecipherable. Louis didn't think or remember or even wonder. He just waded and treaded through the thickness and listened.

The awareness that slowly began spreading through his body was like molasses, so heavy and sluggish. He could feel the scratchy starch of sheets below his body, the breeze that swept across his arms accompanied with the sound of a closing door, and the clicks and scratches of occasional writing. It was like clockwork, Louis assumed, though he had no idea of time and the actual passage of it. There weren't many voices to listen to during much of his waking moments, only the beeping that matched his heart to keep him company a lot of the time.  
~~~~~  
The former ocean had slowly become smaller and smaller in Louis' mind, a little pond all that's left. The time spent conscious seemed endless, only interrupted by random dives into the inky thickness. The exhaustion only crept up when he tried to move his body, to show some outward sign that he was here, sometimes in reaction to the voices. The first time Louis opened his eyes the light was blinding, absolutely excruciating in its abundance. Just that small act was grueling, but now that he'd seen something outside his skin, he couldn't help myself. Louis pried his eyes open for a few more seconds, blinking against the light.

The ceiling above him was a dull grey mixed with holes from the plaster and the sight of it was enough to fill Louis with awe. It was the first color other than black he could remember seeing in such a long while that it was transformed into a beautiful miracle for him to feast his eyes upon. The pull quickly dragged him under, holding him in a tight grip as Louis' world once again faded to black.

Louis had become very good at opening his eyes without too much trouble and even managed to twitch his fingers and almost clench into a fist. The awareness of himself ended at what Louis assumed was his stomach due to its swishing and clenching from time to time. He knew there was more but there was no feeling, no weight. Louis often wondered if it would come, or if he'd be left with this.

The voices came often, so he screwed up his face and clenched his fists and, once he'd found his mouth, opened it to release some sort of noise. The silence in between visits was deafening and the only reprieve was to make sounds of his own to fill up the corners of the room. Louis' voice was only a rasp and his throat burned with the effort of it.

~~~~~~

The first time Louis turned his head was like being born again. There were so many new things to look at and study that he squirmed non-stop in his skin. There wasn't much joy in staring at a ceiling that he'd counted every single dent, hole, and anomaly hundreds of times. Ceilings don't tend to be on the fascinating side in the first place, really.  
The sink was at first the most interesting because of the steady drip drip drip that it produced, but quickly became dull due to its similarity to the ceaseless beeping. The machine right by Louis' bed was colorful and even had a clear bag of liquid suspended from it.

The machines screen had little squiggles that spiked to the same tune of the beeping, so perhaps that's where it was coming from. There were numbers and words that held no meaning to him surrounding the animated lines, so they were easy to forget. He'd almost turned his head again when he caught a wire running from the bag to the bed. His eyes followed it as best as possible before he could no longer see over his cheeks.

With some(much) effort Louis tilted his head until his eyes met with the alien wire reaching his wrist. It was attached there with clear tape and seemed to disappear into his skin. He clenched his fist multiple times but couldn't feel anything wrong that the offending object could be doing, so Louis let it be. He turned back to the ceiling and began counting again.

~~~~~~

He heard voices through the muck of his mind and quickly surfaced to catch them. Louis could recognize the deep grumble and lighter lilt of two of the voices, as they visited occasionally, and with that he opened his eyes to match a face to a voice. Four figures stood over his bed in conversation over a clipboard, an older greying man, two gorgeous young men, and a cute blonde woman. He had only seen passing snapshots of their retreating backs out the door, but never their faces. The greying man looked tired and worn out, and something about that caused an itch in Louis' peripherals.

Louis' focus immediately zeroed in on the two young men though, their faces so familiar and comforting that the prickle of tears could soon be felt behind his eyes. He wanted to say something, anything for an interaction with another person after so long trapped in his mind. 

He couldn't find his mouth though, something that occasionally happened right after welcoming consciousness. Louis begged, pleaded, ORDERED them to look. Just look and see him and acknowledge him because he's here, and he's so lonely and he KNOWS these two people and he's tired of being alone. So very tired.

It's amazing how sheer force of will can make things happen sometimes; at least, that's what Louis would like to think is what caused the woman to casually glance over. She looked away before snapping her neck in a double take that surely gave her whiplash, locking eyes with him. She nudged the older man and he also laid eyes on Louis, quickly assessing like one would a particularly trying puzzle. The other two chanced a look in confusion, eyes widening and joy filling them.  
Louis tried opening his mouth once again but only managed a quirk of his lips, but the look on the parties faces suggested it was nothing short of amazing.

The man nodded subtly, locking eyes with Louis before barking out orders to the woman. She jumped and scurried quickly out of the room, leaving the door open behind her. The two younger males had jumped to his side and where petting and cooing at him, their eyes filled with tears. The older man gave Louis a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he whispered, "Welcome back".


	2. Where am I and Who are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis awakens to two very familiar blokes.

The flurry of activity was so interesting after the silence Louis had become so accustomed to. The two men never left his side, continuously telling him things he couldn't exactly understand, but the attention was nice nonetheless.

The woman from earlier, presumably a nurse, came in multiple times to inject something or another into the line running into his hand. Louis was getting quite fed up with her constant interruptions and hoped his jaded looks conveyed his (somewhat) unkind thoughts.

Slowly but surely, the visits by the nurse stopped and he was left alone with his companions. The urge to speak, to get out of his mind, was overbearing and each second felt endless, just listening to the murmurs of the other inhabitants of his oh so lovely room.

"W-.....Where..?" He tried, startling the others into silence. They shared a look before the one on the left (whom had been the object of much intense staring by Louis), cleared his throat.

"You're in the hospital, love... You were in an accident around a month ago and this is the first time you've been conscious." Louis blinked. Louis blinked a couple more times. He looked to the other man and then back, arching an eyebrow.

For one, the blokes voice was about as light and wispy as smoke and that alone was too much of a distraction to be healthy. Two, his words didn't make a pin of sense. Oh - he understood them quite fine, but their implications were morbid and brought back dredges of the never ending darkness, and that would simply not do at all.

Beautiful people shouldn't say such ugly things, there must be a law against it at the very least, so instead of adressing the actual problem, it was much(Much) easier to deflect with nonsensical things.

"I-I must've cou-..counted the holes a million t-times, in the ceiling..." The men's faces crumpled in confusion before they turned to eachother, having a silent conversation, and that wouldn't do either because Louis has been all alone for far too long to be ignored. 

"Look, i-if you've someth-thing to say, then spit it out, I haven't got all day!" They actually laughed a bit at that before nodding in tandem, arms raised in surrender.

"Sorry, Lou. We just missed you is all, Liam here hasn't gone a day without belting the blues in the showers when he thinks no-one's around to hear it." The rather pretty lad winked at the other man(Liam apparently), whose face was burning bright red in imitation of a rather embarrassed tomato.

Before the love-fest could properly get underway, Louis' discomfort at these two so-very-familiar-yet-unfamiliar people began to shine through. Who where they anyways? Louis was absolutely sure he knew them on some level, but no name or memory could be connected with their faces.

"I don't know who you are." There. Short, sweet, and to the point. A rather good way to be, Louis thinks.

Their light, laughing faces crumble before his eyes, replaced with something akin to hurt and bewilderment. Louis immediately regrets opening his mouth, wishing he had just gone along and listened before blabbing.

"I-I mean, I'm sure I know you from somewhere, but I can't...exactly...place you?" It comes out as more of a question than anything, but it's all he knows to say to help those poor, fallen looks of theirs.

The lad on the right, Liam, looks close to tears by this point but Louis hasn't a clue on how to even begin to console him. The other man quickly comes to both their aides by introducing himself, something probably wholly unnecessary, if only Louis could just remember them really quickly.

"It's alright, Louis. I'm Zayn, and this is Liam. We've been friends for three years, ever since we met in secondary school back in Doncaster," The dark-skinned lad, now Zayn, murmured in his smoke-filled voice. "We're in our first year of Uni together now."

There was an awfully distracting itch in Louis' mind at hearing Zayn speak, becoming more powerful by the second. He knew these things, of course he did. He knew these two, knew their faces and smiles and personalities. But that itch.

It was overpowering every other sense by this point, and there was no ignoring it as it brought the darkness back with it, pulling Louis down, down, down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slow-moving, I know, but I'm trying to get acquainted with the direction I have mapped in my mind. Chapters will become longer as I get more mapped out, so please bare with me. Hope you enjoyed!^_^


	3. Chapter 3: Zayn and Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis notices Zayn and remembers his boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! *Enter generic, overused excuse*. Anyways, on to the story!!

The next time Louis woke up, it was to Zayn whispering in the still of the hospital room, his eyelashes fluttering open upon the feel of Louis' twitching fingers against his own. They maintained eye contact, Zayn leveling him with a loaded look. There was so much in that gaze, something Zayn was trying to tell Louis. But he didn't understand, couldn't comprehend the feelings it was trying to convey.

Zayn blinked, seemingly coming back to his senses, and pulled his hand away from Louis'. A small smile slipped into place, Louis tilting his head in confusion. Zayn flicked his eyes to the door, the window, the sink - anything but Louis.

Louis' mind was a puddle of bewilderment, quickly dried up by an ignition of interest when the door creaked open. A nurse strode in, glancing between Louis and Zayn with a quirked eyebrow, before observing the papers attached to the clipboard in her hands.

"Well, it seems that Mr. Tomlinson here has no life-threatening injuries left to recover from," She began, her shrill filling the soundless room. "therefore, the only obstacles left are physical therapy and a visit with the hospital psychiatrist."

Louis' confusion slams back into him at full force at this new bit of information. Why did he need a psychiatrist? He wasn't feeling the whole shrink rundown at the moment, so he'll pass, thanks; and what's this about physical therapy? Is there something wrong with his legs? Is he a cripple now? What will he do in a wheelchair for the rest of his life?!

His horror-filled thoughts must relay themselves to the nurse, as she jumps in with an explanation. "Oh don't worry darling, the physical therapy is just to get you back up and running; I mean, you have been laying in bed for weeks now!"

Zayn decides to be his medium for the moment, voice like silk as he mumbled out, "And the psychiatrist? What does that help?" The nurse nodded in understanding, clearly prepared for this, "We need to ascertain whether or not the crash has caused any long-lasting memory problems, as well as anything else. I've been informed that he had to be filled in on you and your companions' persons." 

Zayn shook his head, eyes cast to the floor in thought. Louis himself, though silent throughout the exchange, had plans spinning 'round and 'round his head. First, he needed to go through physical therapy, the actual extent of that particular adventure unknown. Second, he's going to spill his guts to an overpaid shrink that couldn't give a damn about him one way or another. Only then would he finally be discharged. Well. What a proper party this'll be.

"A-alright, when do we start?" A rasped reply came, voice gravelly from disuse.

~~~~~~

The days following were, in short, awfully awful awfulness. Everything hurt during physical therapy, his muscles constantly screeching in protest. The nurses told him the pain was from his atrophied muscles, rewards from his many days in bed. Louis just spit a quick "Shut it" every time, sure they were getting amusement from his hours of hell.

The psychiatrist wasn't much better, in fact he'd rather spend hours upon hours of walking back and forth across a room than being picked and prodded at. The psychiatrist, a man called Dr. Wall, had asked just about every inane question in the book of idiocy. He asked dumb, irrelevant things constantly, such as his preference for take-out (Chinese of course), his favorite sport (Footie above everything), and strangely enough, his hometown (Doncaster, something he *obviously* knows). Louis knows Dr. Wall speaks with Zayn and Liam regularly, perhaps to check up on the accuracy of the information, which is honestly  _so_ insulting in Louis' opinion, and who is better to ask than him?

Louis couldn't see the point in any of it, though he was constantly reassured there was one. He was asked about Zayn, who he described rather in depth - something along the lines of "soft and beautiful, and perhaps impossibly deep, though he wasn't always like that". Liam was also a topic of conversation, and it was always with a fond smile that Louis spoke of him. His memories filtered in as he pictured their faces, lips quirked as he thought of all the experiences he's shared with his boys.

He feels the guilt of forgetting them in every upturn of their lips, every crinkled eye. Louis has a feeling apologizing won't do much of anything - with their feelings or his own conscience. So he doesn't, just tries to show he remembers, that he cares. Touching them is second nature, hand-holding and hugs common. His touches seem to linger unnecessarily with Zayn, he's come to realize, though Zayn doesn't seem to mind.

There are rare moments where Louis will catch Zayn in the act of staring, his cheeks burning as he ducks his head, glancing at Louis from underneath his long lashes. Those moments are laced with fluttering in Louis' chest, a bashful smile lighting up his face. If Liam has noticed at all, he doesn't let on.

It's something his psychiatrist asks about, maybe a week into their alternating days of meetings.

"Now Louis, I've listened to you wax poetic about your mate Zayn," Dr. Wall, though on the younger spectrum, clearly didn't understand that there was a line; that he and Louis weren't "mates". That they weren't best buddies that could give each other advice and have slumber parties together. They most certainly weren't on the level of calling Louis out on his transparency. No. Nope.

"Yeah, sure because I've quite literally spoken of bloody _nothin'_ else at all here." Louis mumbles, rolling his eyes. Dr. Wall appears unimpressed, an eyebrow quirked in the unspoken question of "Are you quite finished?". When Louis refuses to dignify the look with a response, Dr. Wall continues," As I was saying, these feelings " he punctuates the word with air quotes, "seem to be new, as in they weren't mentioned in our talks of your memories of Zayn and Liam."

And that. Well. That's true. It isn't enough to drive the point home; a quick "So?" pulled from Louis' lips. "How long have you noticed Zayn this way?" Dr. Wall questions, hands upturned to enunciate his words. The question is simple, as is the answer. The implications, however, are not so much. See, looking at Zayn after he woke up was like lifting a veil from his eyes. The Zayn from his memories is different than this Zayn, not as sharp and defined.

It's not like his attractiveness had eluded Louis before, he was aware of it. The point was that it hadn't affected him, hadn't ever caused his breath to falter and his cheeks to burn.

Louis' silence must have been answer enough, as Dr. Wall studied him in contemplation. He had taken to leaning his chin on an open palm, only to sit up with a sigh after the silence continued. "I want you to think about why you are suddenly infatuated with a friend that, before, you hadn't looked twice at." Dr. Wall pauses a moment, selecting his words with precision, "This isn't bad, nor do I think it will hurt you or Zayn, but it's certainly something to reflect on." 

Apparently this guy has nothing else to do than worry about Louis' love life, or lack-thereof.

With that, he stood, making his way to the wooden door before opening it with a short promise of "We'll talk soon". Louis lifted himself slowly to amble out of the room on the crutches he had been given just that morning. He nodded once at the doctor before gradually making his way back to his room.

~~~~~~

It was later that night, as Louis was lulled to sleep, that things seemed to take a turn for the worst. It started with a spark in the dark, a faint pitter-patter of rain drops. From the calm sway of a non-existent wind, a sudden violent burst of blinding lights and thundering noise overtook Louis, breaking through the pitch black. There was a thundering rain coming down now, soaking Louis completely; its freezing drops reaching his bones and everything in-between.

There was just _so much_ sound and light and it was getting louder and brighter and there was seemingly no end to it, no end to this deafening roar. Surely his ears were bleeding, his eyes burned out by now, _surely_. Louis opened his mouth to scream, but nothing could be heard over the mighty noise consuming him.

This is it, Louis thinks, this must be the end. There is nothing but this burning light and this giant screaming and there will never be anything _but_ this and he just wants it to end - just please end _I can't take it anymore please!_

He blinks his eyes open, screams scratching their way up his throat and passed his lips, unknown people holding him down, calling out his name, but all he can see is the light and all he can hear is the thunder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope Louis' mindset is more clear, this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Normality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is reacquainted with life a University, and meets a fedora-wearing weirdo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than any of the chapters before this, so I hope you enjoy it!!

The next few days were filled with endless questions and concerned glances. The amount of times “I’m fine” have passed Louis’ lips had to have gone into the hundreds by now, their meaning empty. Louis was decidedly not fine, not at all, but being stuck in this hospital for any longer would likely hammer in the final nail on the coffin of his sanity.

Everything seemed like too much and not enough, and Louis couldn’t take any more of it. So he lied about the sleepless nights since the nightmare. He lied about the endless loop of flashbacks in his head, the pitter-patter of rain always in the back of his mind. Louis told them he was fine and he would be, just as soon as he left this soul sucking place.

 

A week of constant reassurance to the doctors and his boys finally led to being discharged, and if Louis broke into dance after the nurse left, well no one had to know.

  
  


Liam was the one to pick him up when Louis finally signed the last of the discharge papers, a smile on his face and pep in his step. He pushed Louis to the car in the mandatory wheelchair, popping a few wheelies to bring a smile to Louis’ tired face. It worked of course, Louis shouting about wheelchair races and leaving Liam in the dust.

When they were both settled in Liam's jeep, the cold had Liam clambering to turn the ignition on. The stereo burst to life with a loud crackle, causing Louis to flinch violently into the seat in alarm, his eyes wide. Liam scrambled to turn the stereo down, face alight with surprise and a chuckle leaving his mouth. Louis quickly pulled himself together, a nervous laugh bubbling up into his throat.

Liam turned to throw him a wink, seemingly oblivious, before backing out of the parking spot and leaving Manchester General.

 

The drive was quiet, the only noise being the random pop song playing softly from the radio. Louis rolled down his window, breathing in the fresh air in awe. After being cooped up in that hospital for so long, being outside was an entirely new world. The excitement was a good distraction, helping Louis to forget the constant ringing in his head.

 

After about twenty minutes of driving through Manchester, they arrived at the university, heading straight for the dorms. Louis’ roommate, a loud, cheeky boy named Niall, was nowhere to be seen once they finally reached his room. Louis let out a sigh of relief, he wasn't ready to deal with anyone today. He had enough to think about with all the work he was sure his professors had piled up for him during his little vacation.  
He dropped onto his bed, the springs shrieking in protest, and rubbed a hand down his tired face. Liam proceeded to drop Louis’ bag beside the bed and collapse beside Louis in a heap, a groan leaving his mouth. Louis turned to him, his lips quirked into a small smile.

“... I'm hungry but I don't think I can get up.” Liam immediately jumped into action, a concerned look on his face.

“Why didn't you say so! I can go get you something right now, what do you want?” Liam’s inner mother hen reared its head, ready to go if Louis so much as hinted. On a regular day, something like this would annoy Louis to no end and Liam would subsequently be the butt of many jokes, but today was not normal or regular in any way. Louis just felt drained and used up, and only wanted a good meal and to finally get some sleep after this seemingly endless week.

 

Liam knew just how to take care of Louis best, and could always be counted on to make him feel better, so Louis let him.

“It doesn’t matter, anything will do” Louis answered, followed by a quick, “oh and some tea too!” as Liam left the room with an eager nod.

 

The following silence, in which Louis was left with the thoughts that he had so far managed to hold at bay, filled his mind. All he could do was lie there as image after image raced through behind his eyelids at blinding speeds. The near silent pitter patter of water rose in volume, followed by the slow screech of bending metal. It wasn't so violent this time, as the nightmare had been, but it was no less unsettling.

 

One moment Louis was blinded by water sloshing into his eyes, the next he was being jostled around as an anxious Liam shook him. Louis blinked a couple of times, gathering his bearings, before forcing a smile that no doubt looked choked. Liam furrowed his eyebrows, questions on the tip of his tongue.

“I’m fine, Liam. Just a daydream.” Louis supplied, wincing at the obvious lie. Liam looked him over once more before sighing, handing Louis a sandwich, bag of crisps, and of course his tea.

Louis’ stomach decided to make itself known then, a loud grumble filling the room, causing its occupants to let out a laugh. Liam then took a seat on the opposite bed, Niall’s, and steadied his face into something resembling stern.

“You can talk to me, Lou…” He started, his eyes sincere. “We’re best mates, and I only wanna help.”

Louis paused with his hand in the bag of crisps, a furrow in his brow. He glanced from the bag to Liam’s face, searching; for what, he wasn’t sure...maybe all the answers Louis so desperately needed, but perhaps not. Louis knew he was there, knew Liam always would be, but he didn’t need any help. He could do this, he could beat whatever this was going on in his mind, and he could do it alone.

With that in mind, a gentle smile slipped into place as Louis nodded, breathing a quiet “Thanks, Li”. He still seemed concerned, but didn’t push it, instead grabbing for the laptop strewn onto the desk beside the beds.

He pulled up Netflix, starting a random episode of Friends, and slid into Louis’ bed, settling into the pillows.

Liam must be a mind reader, Louis thinks, he always seems to know how to make him feel better. With that, Louis snuggled into Liam’s side, finishing his food while getting lost in the antics of Ross and Rachel.

  
  


The next time Louis opens his eyes, it’s to the cheerful whistling of his Irish roommate. Louis peeks through slits, considering whether or not to go back to sleep or say hello. The decision is swiftly stolen from him once Niall glances over and, upon seeing Louis conscious, breaks into a face-splitting grin.

“Loueh! Good to see you back and alive mate, was really worried there for a bit,” He takes a breath, as though to reassure himself, “welcome back, I’m glad you’re alright.”

Louis smiles easily, Niall’s natural good mood infecting him even this early in the morning. He’s honestly the best roommate, well, except for the random birds he’s known to wander in with from time to time. He’s honestly never heard of “quiet, my roommate is asleep right there” sex and often goes at it like he’s starring in his very own porn. Which... not that Louis is a saint but still.

 

“Yeah, it’s good to be back Nialler.” Louis sits up, a yawn in his throat and a hand scratching through his unruly bedhead. He catches Niall’s eye, knowing that suspicious gleam anywhere, and braces himself to be tackled to the bed.

Niall doesn’t disappoint, immediately pouncing and wrapping Louis in a vice-like grip with a cackle slipping from his lips.

They roll around, feinting punches and jabs, wrestling until Louis miraculously ends up straddling Niall’s waist. He’s got his arms pinned down and his legs, thicker and more muscular than Niall’s, have Niall’s lower half immobile.

“Aww, poor Nialler! Always trying for the impossible!” Louis laughs out, straining to keep Niall in place as he struggles with his whole body.

“Shut it! Just wait you li’l twat!”

“Well that’s not something you say to someone that's got you pinned, now is it?” Louis squeezes his thighs as hard as he can, grunting with the effort to keep Niall in place. As they both struggled for dominance, all that could be heard were random grunts and curses. Of course it was at this moment that someone, Zayn to be exact, decided to walk in unannounced, halting in his tracks and sputtering out a loud “What the fuck?!” at the apparently very busy boys.

Niall and Louis both jumped, taking one look at Zayn’s stiff posture and then each other before an interesting idea popped into Louis’ mind.

He kept eye contact with Zayn before leaning down to lick a fat stripe up Niall’s cheek, earning a shriek of laughter from Niall and an intense, dark look from Zayn.

In that moment, he looked like he wanted to snatch Louis up, and even took a step toward the two before seemingly thinking better of it and staying in place, fists clenching at his sides. Louis leveled him with a challenge in his eyes, a smirk on his lips as he bends closer to Niall’s neck.

“Louis…” Zayn grits out, frustration marring his pretty face. Just as he opened his mouth to say more, Liam sauntered into the room with a dopey grin and a bag of food. Oblivious as always, he strode to the bed Niall and Louis were currently entangled on and flopped down, causing Louis to take a short tumble onto the floor.

“Liam you fucking idiot!” Louis screeched out, cradling his sore head with one hand, punching at Liam’s legs with the other. Liam, however, didn’t seem at all bothered and instead dug through the bag and began distributing food out.

Louis took his with a few choice words, and settled onto the floor with his back against the wall to eat. Zayn looked from the unused bed to Louis before shrugging and sliding down onto the floor to join him. They shared a smile before digging into their bagels, Louis’ a cinnamon-raisin swirl, Zayn's a blueberry.

 

As much as he wanted to, Louis couldn’t lay around in bed all day and instead forced himself to meet with each of his professors for the mountains of work he surely had. He had trekked the entire university at least twice trying to find his professors, and honestly he shouldn’t have to work this hard to get work he doesn’t want to do.

 

By the time lunch rolled around, Louis was absolutely exhausted, not used to so much physical exertion anymore. He met up with Zayn, where they then walked to a nearby café to meet up with Liam and a couple of other people Louis couldn’t bother to remember.

The tinkling of the bell as they entered café alerted a small group of people, two of which being Liam and Niall, to their arrival. Liam waved them over to sit down, Zayn taking a seat across the table and Louis sitting between some weird bloke wearing a fedora and Liam.

As a woman took his tea order, Louis’ ears tuned in to the conversation the table was having, currently being led by the guy beside him.

“Well the leaves at this time of year just.. they just remind me of the sunset, y’know? Like the cold, uhm, the leaves look like fire, and the cold just makes it feel all cozy.” The man’s slow, posh drawl took an entire minute to get the sentence out, though everyone at the table seemed to hang off every syllable. They nodded their heads as he spoke, as if he hadn’t just spouted some bullshit about leaves and instead given them the answers to the universe.

Louis turned to Liam, his eyebrows reaching his hairline, and whispered a quick, “What kind of shit is this guy talking?”. Liam looked confused for a moment before comprehension dawned and then proceeded to tap the weirdo on the shoulder.  “Harry, mate,” said male glanced over, eyes sparking with interest as he took Louis in.

“This is Louis, and Louis this is Harry, he started school here while you were in the hospital.” Louis took a moment to gauge the kid before him; the fedora definitely knocked off points, though that curly hair might just make up for it. His lips were full and peculiarly red, almost as though he were wearing lipstick, which. Okay.

Louis’ attention was ripped away from his mouth to eyes that were greengreengreen and so deep it was hard to believe they were real at all and Louis wasn’t in some strange fever dream.

He became aware of his surroundings as the man, Harry, opened his mouth to speak in a sluggish drawl.

“Hi Louis,” Louis could tell immediately this wasn’t going to end with them being friends as soon as his name left Harry’s mouth. “I’ve heard a lot about you, and I’m really glad you’re alright. I couldn’t possibly imagine going through something like so terrible.” Harry’s lips had slipped into a pout, his eyes filled with pity, and. No. Louis does not do pity, he does not need this random idiot’s sympathy. He’s thankfully held back the wallowing so far, and he doesn’t want this pity, doesn’t want to be seen that way. Louis is exhausted from all the running around this morning, and somehow his mood just went from bone-tired to ready to go in seconds.

“I don’t need your pity, so keep it to yourself,” Louis snaps, shocking everyone at the table, if multiple gasps are anything to go by.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Of course you ‘didn’t mean it that way’, but that’s how it came out, so fuck you and your pity...go try it with someone who cares.” With that, Louis stood up suddenly, his chair scraping the floor. He kept his eyes down resolutely, leaving the shop and its astonished occupants with a hardened face.

 

Louis knew he was overreacting and being dramatic, but he wasn’t in school to be a drama teacher for nothing. He just didn’t know how to react in that moment, he had felt attacked and his mind saw the only way to escape the situation was to lash out. His behavior startled even him, he’d never acted that way to a complete stranger before, like a complete and utter wanker. Why did he say those things? It was uncalled for and he knew it, but it seemed like the only thing he could do to help himself get out of explaining himself, out of talking about the accident.

Maybe that was it, maybe he was still a little freaked from the accident, and had taken it out on some innocent stranger.

  
The tinkling of bells brought Louis from his reverie, and he chanced a look behind him to find Zayn walking towards him, his face weighed down with some unknown sorrow. He quickly caught up to Louis and hooked arms with him, whispering a nearly silent, “Let’s go home”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think??  
> OH and I really can't wait for MITAM to come out and I have stubbornly kept away from the leaks so far, so it'll be even sweeter when I finally hear it!!:)


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